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How Does Fear Impact Divorce?

By Peter Hobler

Are you a parent going through or who is already divorced?

How are things in your divorce situation? Is it a constant battle between you and the ex or are the two of you able to make it work?

What is the greatest pain you are enduring? Are you concerned about the negative effects of the situation on your children?

Are you feeling beyond frustrated, angry, and anxious because you're worried about what the ex will do or say next to make your life more miserable? Do you feel like the stress and anxiety are affecting your health?

What are you more afraid of than anything when it comes to the ex? How are you dealing with this? Do you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells?

Is there anything you can do that will help alleviate this overwhelming fear?

My wife Laurie and I created The EX-Factor to help guide you to be able to create harmony after the split to nurture an environment where your children are thriving.

We are here to tell you, "YES, there is!"

We have each been where you are. We've experienced the emotional trauma of divorce and seen the effect on our kids. We've worked with coaches and counselors. We've done the work it takes to for self-growth. Now we're passionately committed to be here for you, to serve as your guides to help you navigate the turbulent waters of divorce.

What are the effects of fear when it comes to divorce?

Fear is stifling because the tendency is to become consumed by your fear when it becomes your main focus. The more you are unknowingly focused on your FEAR, the more reactive you become.

Gaining Clarity for what you really want allows you to develop heightened Awareness so you can pause and pivot, i.e., think things through, and start being proactive. This means you are rational and intentional so you can create more of what you really want, instead of more of what you do NOT want.

When you understand that what you focus on is what you get more of in return, you can create a shift to focusing on your newfound Clarity for what you DO want.

Being reactive will rarely get you more of what you really want, rather it will create more of what you do NOT want.

Think about it... when the ex suddenly gets angry at you, she/he has lost control of herself/himself, has lost control of the interaction with you, and you never want to do what she/he wants you to do!

Likewise, when you react with anger at the ex, you have lost control of yourself, of the interaction, and the ex will never do what you want him/her to do!

If you're at all like me, many of the aspects leading up to divorce happened out of the blue. They were a complete surprise and as a result I was not prepared for any of it and ended up stuck in an extremely reactionary state.

Once I gained true Clarity for what I really wanted for my then 3-year-old daughter, I was finally able to STOP reacting. The very next day a situation occurred with the ex that once would have led to my getting angry. Instead, I took a big breath and thought about what I wanted for my daughter, which was for me to be the best parent I could possibly be.

As a result, I STARTED to create a shift for how I handled things. Yes, I was able to stay calm and in self-control. Over the next few months, the underlying dynamics began to shift. The empowerment of having Clarity changed everything for my daughter, and for me. To gain Clarity, simply step up and go through my free Clarity Exercise. Go to:

The password to access is "clarity1"

You are here because you have the Awareness that things can shift for the better. Commit to follow-through on being the best parent you can be for the sake of your children.

STOP being stuck in the Vicious Cycle of Subconscious Fear and START being the best, most Aware parent you can be so can make sure your kids are thriving.

Split Harmony is available at

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